I Speak Anal: The Indian Language, Not Filth Talk

I Speak Anal: The Indian Language, Not Filth Talk

In what may look like a cheap attempt for me to generate hits with my keyword-rich title, I’ve decided it’s high-time that I lowered the tone of this blog, but I am at least disguising this foray into the land of raised-eyebrows as a quasi-intelligent post.

We’ve all known someone who has had an unfortunate last name. For me, one of the highlights of spending some time in America was meeting Jane Glasscock and then being able to introduce her to others with a straight face.

But why should unfortunate names stop at people? Why not have a whole language that falls under the, “is that really what it’s called?!” umbrella?

Enter Anal.


Anal is a language spoken in India, Bangladesh, Burma and strangely geographically apart Nigeria.

You may be somewhat dubious at the legitimacy of this post’s subject, but an impressive 13,853 people are fluent in Anal. More if you do a quick YouTube search…

Now Anal is of course not to be confused with the language Anus. While in english it’s more of a noun/adjective separation, in the world of languages, they are two completely separate dialects.

Anus is spoken only in Jayapura in Indonesia. It has a rather less impressive total of 70 speakers of the language- all members of the same tribal group, living on an island in the Sarmi-Jayapura Bay.

Perhaps a re-branding of the name would attract more followers, but as it stands, Anus is ahead of speakers of Ter Sami (in Russia) which has a headcount of 2 speakers in the world.

If you arrived on this page from a Google search, expecting a slightly different experience of titillation, apologies.

Now, bring on the spammers….

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